Category Archives: ASBO The Tow-Car

Enter the ASBO……

We discovered last year that even though the Megane should have no problem pulling Evil (on paper) – in practice, it’s definitely a bit of a strain.

After some humming and hawing, we decided that rather than risking our day-to-day sensible car, it would make sense to buy something that was better designed for dragging sheds.  Preferably a 4×4 for those muddy field moments.  And if it looked butch and scary and drove like a demon, well that would definitely be a bonus! 😉

We’d been browsing the second hand car sites for months, looking for suitable units.  G, of course, wanted a Cherokee.  But I’ve never really gotten over our previous Cherokee – that fabulous moneypit that was only on the road for 3 months (NOT consecutively) for the 13 months we owned it……. and eventually ended up ruining our credit rating when we handed it back to the Hire Purchase company after they failed to live up to their contractual obligation to get it sorted out.

Not that I’m bitter or anything………..

I was leaning towards a commercial, as they’re quite cheap to tax, and let’s be honest, we don’t really have a requirement for back seats, but we DO have a requirement for masses of boot space.  However, since commercial vehicles also require a separate DOE test every year as well as an NCT, we decided it was just too much hassle.

After more browsing, we eventually settled on a funky looking Isuzu Trooper as the most likely option.  It was big, chunky, slightly menacing and they have a very good reliability reputation.  The price was also right.

So I went to the dealer website.  To discover it had been hijacked by a company that really wanted me to believe that I had a virus on my computer that only they could fix……

And I rang the dealer’s number.  To discover that the number had been disconnected.

And I rang the dealer’s mobile.  To discover that it rings out and doesn’t go to voicemail.

Oh well – so much for THAT idea then!

We were both quite grumpy as we’d rather liked the Trooper, but Grant went off to do some more searching.

I was away with work at the time and working off my Blackberry, which makes it difficult to look at any links I get sent (I’m only on GPRS, no 3G – it would be quicker to *paint* a picture than download one).  So when I got an email that said simply “Fire up the Quattro”, my response was a resounding NO!

I don’t know if you ever watched Ashes to Ashes (the sequel to Life on Mars), but the great Gene Hunt drove an Audi Quattro.

Trust the Gene Genie.........


A total hooliganmobile.  A terrifying hooliganmobile.  So my immediate response was “NO”!

Well, I thought he was kidding.

I then got a rather hurt email back wanting to know “what was wrong with it”,  which made me wonder what was going on.

Finally I got to a wifi connection so I could see exactly what it was he had in mind.

Oh my.

It’s a mean, green, scary machine.  Looks like a mom mobile – but it’s very deceptive.  2.7 petrol, Twin Turbo, Quattro, Audi A6 Allroad 4×4.  With a towbar!

Well that’s a no brainer right there! 🙂


So off we went to visit the nice people at JOS Motors in Glasnevin.

It had leather seats.  Wooden inlays.  Two exhausts that looked like they could house a family of weasels on each side of the car……. oh – and a towbar.  Did I mention the towbar?

So a test drive was arranged.  One that nearly ended in death when Grant gently put the “Go” pedal down and the thing attempted to launch us into the stratosphere.  Well the Megane never does that….!!!!

I was quite keen and Grant was very obviously utterly and totally in love.  A deal was made, a deposit put down and a plan hatched to not pick it up until the following week so we didn’t get hit for car tax for the previous month!  Don’t ask about the car tax.  I really try not to think about the car tax.  Ever.

To break it down for you
Tax for this vehicle per year
UK    GBP£250
Ireland    €1350 (approx GBP£1150)

So nearly 5 times what it would cost to tax the same vehicle in the UK.  Explain to me again how we’re bankrupt when this level of rip-off is going on all the time?

If I thought the money actually went into the road infrastructure, I might be a bit less annoyed.  But one of the reasons we need a 4×4 is so that we get get into and out of the potholes that infest the roads of Ireland.  For some of them, you need stepladders.

Anyway, enough of that – I’ll go off on a major rant and it’s not good for my blood pressure!

After a poll of Facebook peeps, we decided that the new car was going to be named “Asmodeus the ASBO Audi”.  Ok I know, I know.  But we named the caravan – didn’t seem right to not give the poor car a name as well.  The Asmodeus bit has more or less been dropped, truth be told.  ASBO on the other hand, has definitely stuck!

We were quite excited about picking up the ASBO and even got a day off work to go get it.  We had yet to discover some of the extras on the car that we didn’t even know were there………

The car guy told us that he’d had to recharge the battery as he’d accidentally run it down while cleaning the car.  He’d had the football on, on RTE.  Ok fair enough – you could understand why he’d want to listen to the radio while cleaning.  Erm….nope.  He wasn’t listening to the radio.  He was *watching* the football.  On the in-car television.

Yep.  The in-car television.

We knew it had a built in sat nav (woefully out of date).  We did NOT know that the satnav was also an analog television which picks up all the local stations!

So money exchanged hands and off we drive in our new ASBO.  Carefully.  There is a massive difference in acceleration response between a 1.4 Megane and a 2.7 Audi Allroad.  I’ve had to adjust the headrest just so I get bruised in a different place every time we take off from the traffic lights….!

First, we had to stop to *feed* the beast.  There was a bet on as to what it would come to.  I had €100, G had €115.  He was so determined to win that he filled it to almost overflowing just to get the €115 in there!  But even so!

Then we had to play with it.

Did I mention the heated seats?  Oh dear lord, how I love the heated seats.  If you have a sore back, this is the car for you.  And you can adjust the seats with little switches.  Lumbar support, extra leg bits, head rest, seat height…. the list is endless!

There’s all sorts of other nifty features as well.

So that’s the ASBO.  So now we have Evil and ASBO.  Or as one of our friends pointed out “A&E – which let’s face it, you’re eventually going to wind up in, with that thing” 🙂


Coming Soon…. ASBO!!!!

Well we’ve got Evil the caravan, so joining it shortly will be ASBO the Tow-Car!

Why ASBO?  Ask her indoors, she chose the name, although having driven ASBO at the weekend it is weapon fast and most certainly looks like a car that could “knack ya in a fight”.

Pictures, info, in-depth analysis to follow!