Author Archives: EvilPumpkin

Now leaving Worst…Caravan…Site…Ever…!

More on that when I do the full updates!

Elapsed Travel Time: 00:32:17
Km Driven: 1365
Petrol Used: just….no!
Show Tunes Sung: 0
Crap Wedding bands inflicted on us: 2
Fights: 0 with each other,  1 with poxy caravan park people about their crap wedding bands and population of screaming drunken twunts!

Hoping to make it to Anglesey in time to catch sone racing this afternoon!

We are now in Derbyshire

I’m not 100% sure but I think this is a good thing.  I’m fairly impressed by the sheer volume of water that is falling out of a totally clear sky. However, the predicted shower of flat caps and whippets has failed to appear and no elderly lecherous men have tried a wacky scheme within our view.

Apparently everything I have ever seen on TV is wrong……

Stuck in another traffic jam outside Stoke (we think!)

Argh – bank holiday Friday traffic from the Planet Hell!!

Elapsed Travel Time: 00:28:01
Km Driven: 1209
Petrol Used: none – we’re not moving.  At this rate, we’ll die here and remaining petrol can be used to cremate our wizened corpses…
Show Tunes Sung: none – will to live sucking musical tendancies out through my left nostril
Fights: 0 – unless you count the prick in the Alfa trying to cut in front of us

Meanwhile, the siren song of Alton Towers still tinkles gently, trying to persuade us that we really *do* prefer rollercoasters to motorsport.

However, since we’re trapped in the moebius traffic jam of doom, our will is not being tested too severely. ….

Still driving….

Elapsed Travel Time: 00:26:45
Km Driven: 1168.5
Petrol Used: I didn’t even ask – I’m guessing it’s at least a full pod of velociraptors or possbly .75 of a t-rex
Show Tunes Sung: 0.03 – just the chorus of Crocodile Rock, in the style of the Muppets
Fights: 0.75 – discussion on the intricacies of unwrapping a sandwich which has now devolved into an argument over how argumentative I was about the sandwich…….