Zees treep eez curzed…….

Well sometimes you have to wonder.   We were all organised and then due to a bank SNAFU, suddenly we had no money.  I had a lovely plan for the weekend which involved picking up the final few bits we needed to travel, leisurely load caravan on Monday and then just jump in and go on Tuesday.

It was a great plan.  It was a wonderful plan.  If there was a Nobel prize for plans, this plan would have definitely been nominated.

However, this plan was based on our budgetary funding being there.  When it disappeared for no valid reason on Friday evening, we went from groovy and relaxed to “so covered in poo, we’re breathing through a straw”!

I won’t bore you with the details of the stress that bank caused me – this is a light hearted caravan blog.  Suffice to say that at one stage yesterday while in the branch, I started having difficulty breathing and had to sit down.  That’s how difficult they made things.  

A huge shout out to my (ever) wonderful parents here for simply being them – my rock and harbour, with tea, sympathy, practical help and laughter!

So on to Tuesday – finances sorted, we had to try to squeeze in all the things we had originally planned for a weekend, into around 90 minutes, which is not conducive to a stress free and groovy vibe.

Then it was back home to do the packing.

There’s a clear division of duties here normally – I deal with packing and himself deals with caravan and car wrangling. Usually this works like clockwork, but on this occasion, between rushing, general stress and absolutely oppressive heat, things got fraught as we started tripping over each other and getting ratty. Neither of us are at our best in heat, and between my arthritis flare up and his sore shoulder, the whole situation was ripe for explosions!

And then……….
“Ter, don’t bother rushing. We’re not going anywhere”

Thinking that someone had blocked our drive, I ran down sure that murder would be committed if I didn’t intervene.
But oh no. Worse than that. Our leisure battery had gone to that great diode in the sky. It was deceased. Turned up its contacts and joined the generator invisibule. It is an EX battery.

In fairness, we knew it was on the way out, but we’d hoped it would do just one more trip as new ones are in around the €200 range and we simply haven’t had the budget for that.

I don’t know who has been sticking pins in our voodoo caravan doll, but when I catch up with them. ………

A quick phone call to Halfords confirmed they had them, fully charged. So yet another frantic trip to the shopping centre for emergency battery replacement.

And is the replacement battery the same dimensions as the one it replaces? Well, gentle reader, think of all has gone before. Do you really think it would be that easy?

What’s that? No? You won’t be stunned to learn that it certainly was not. However, Grant’s ever excellent spacial skills came to the rescue and while I still don’t know how, he managed to shoehorn the damn thing in.

Meanwhile, our fully fettled and (right up to this second) beautifully performing ASBO suddenly decides that it is going to play the flashy light game and not settle down…………

At this point, we seriously were having to consider abandoning the trip. But 2 restarts later and it settled down again. Either the voodoo ran out, or possibly ASBO was jealous of the attention Evil was getting.

So we finally get to the point where we’re getting ready to leave. Looking out the window, I see Grant using the motor mover to get Evil out of the drive…. and he’s totally surrounded by the local kids who a) think this is the best remote control toy ever and b) mostly don’t know what a caravan is!

However, I do think my favourite quote was “how old are you, mister? ”
“46”
“Wow – do you remember the war?”

And with that, gentle reader, I will leave you with this thought.

We know that Plan A always fails. That’s why Plan A is “throw weasels at it”! But when Plan B, C and Z also fail, it’s nothing that sheer bloody mindedness and a stubborn refusal to submit to a hostile universe can’t beat!

Then I thought – that’s probably how caravanning was invented in the first place!

note: bloody mindedness and being stubborn only works if you are genuinely lucky enough to have a family who stand by you and a marriage that won’t crumble in the face of universal hostility. Terms and conditions apply. Warning: your sanity may be at risk if you…..actually, that’s it. Your sanity may be at risk!!