Pimp my Caravan

As you may already know, we’re kind of gadget freaks.  We like toys.  Sometimes our taste in toys can be a bit questionable….. there’s a really fine line between “amusingly ironic” and “tragically sad” – and sometimes, it gets a bit blurred in our house.

We’ve had a little bit of an issue with Evil in terms of lighting.  The built-in lights are not all that bright and the reading lights that the Vicar fitted are so bright that they give you involuntary laser surgery!

However, since our DIY skills are a little…..questionable….we were reluctant to do anything on the caravan that might involve making holes in it.  So although we would have liked to fit LED lights, we decided that it was probably safer not to!

But then Maplin came to the rescue with their LED lighting strips that stick on!  Stick on LED light strips – perfect.  What could possibly go wrong?

Well initially, nothing.  White LED lights with a remote control that allows you to adjust the brightness.  On a strip which is the perfect length to go under the overhead bins on both sides of Evil – each with an individual control so that if one of you wants lights out, the other can still keep theirs on – and not even have to get up to turn them off.

Ideal.

However, things started to get a little silly when we discovered that you could also buy colour changing ones.  Well come on – you didn’t think I’d be able to resist *that* did you?

They were on sale, so Grant made a run to Maplin to get the last ones in stock.  As the website said that the local store only had one set left in stock, he also ordered 2 sets online – 1 for each side of the caravan and one spare.

However, the store had TWO sets left in stock – so he got them!  They do come with an expansion kit, so you can join them all together so why not.

Of course, as soon as we got them home, they had to be tested.

Grant: White lights?
Me: Yep
Grant: Adjustable brightness?
Me: Yep
Grant: What does this button do?
Me:    ARRRRRGGGHHHH TURNITOFFTURNITOFFTURNITOFF
Grant:    I’M TRYING
Me:    I’M HAVING A SEIZURE
Grant:    SO ARE THE CATS
Me:    SO ARE THE NEIGHBOURS – TURN IT OOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Ok.  Important safety tip folks.  Never ever EVER use the strobe button on the remote control.  Just trust me on this.  Don’t.

Even the crew of the International Space Station emailed to complain that it was giving them a headache.  I confidently expect that the first message we receive from extraterrestrial life will consist of “TURN IT OFF”.

Yeah.  Stay away from the strobe button.  Seriously.

Once that lesson was learned and Grant had been threatened with broccoli for dinner until the end of time if he ever touched the button again, we investigated the colour options.  Cool.  Very cool.

Not only does it have the usual primary colours, but it allows you to blend them, so you can get cyans and pinks, purples and oranges, etc. etc.  I’m not 100% clear on whether that crosses the line into tragically sad, but I don’t really care – they’re pretty! 🙂

So, while on our shakedown tour, Grant decided to fit them.  Which went pretty well, actually.  Of course, he fitted them during the day which meant that I was really desperate for it to get dark so I could see what they looked like.

Finally, darkness fell and we discovered a whole new way to annoy your caravan neighbours.

First we tested the white lights.  They were perfect for the job and could be nicely adjusted for reading without being blinding and also brighter for those times when you need to try and find whatever it is you just dropped on the floor!

Then it was time for the pretty colours.  And of course, they had to be tested from outside for best effect.

Blue       
Makes your caravan look like a closed butcher shop

Closed Butcher Shop

Green
Makes your caravan look like something that belongs on a Doctor Who set

Dr Who Green

Orange
Makes your caravan look like it’s on fire

Help We're on Fire Orange

Red
 Makes your caravan look like the world’s cheapest brothel

Brothel on Wheels

Purple
Makes your caravan look like a boutique caravan

Boutique Purple

Strobe Effect
Makes your caravan look like it’s about to go back in time and gives your neighbours seizures

Censored for your ocular protection!

Of course, there had to be a glitch though.  It’s us.  There’s *always* a glitch.  We only discovered the glitch when we decided to call it a night and watch telly in bed.

Beds were made up, comfort was achieved and Robot Chicken DVD was in.

Grant pressed play – and the lights went red.
We looked at each other in puzzlement.
We both checked to make sure we weren’t sitting on our respective remotes.
We weren’t.
Grant pressed rewind – and the lights went blue.

Yes.  Apparently the DVD remote for the TV is on the same frequency as the light remotes.  So every time you do something on the TV, the lights change colour.

Now what we really need is a remote control toilet.  Then we can change channel, turn Evil blue and flush the bog with just one handy button!